You Will Split the Heavens of Long Island

A man swipes another man's hot dog on the North Fork of Long Island, setting off a chain of events that lead to the return of three women missing for weeks in Ohio. It's funnier than it sounds. Rebekah and It (short for Isthmus Theodoric) fumble upon a plan to "escape" the voluntary (for Rebekah, anyway) mental health facility they met in and fell in love at, so they can find the missing women. Equipped with unique skills (astral projection, masochism) that freaked their families out for decades and led to their "grippy sock" residencies in the first place, they cross four states, penniless and pursued. Their picaresque adventure unfolds as a series of idiosyncratic encounters with locals both helpful and harmful, who unknowingly give the happy couple a litmus test on their readiness for the outside world. It's an odyssey of quotidian proportions and if they're successful (they are, already mentioned), their heroic efforts might just keep them out of trouble for the dozen or so laws they break along the way. Told through Rebekah's and It's dual narrative, You Will Split the Heavens of Long Island strives to make outcasts into heroes, to make labels into relics, and to make readers remember how good it feels to laugh again. All this, plus the "We Didn't Start the Fire" sequel you didn't know you needed.