Waterproof Mascara

Because ordinary mascara simply won't survive the chaos of real family life.

Single mum, three kids, one household full of appliances with attitude problems. After surviving divorce and rebuilding my life, I've learnt that the secret to successful parenting isn't perfect planning-it's waterproof mascara.

Ever wondered if you're the only parent whose children seem determined to redefine the laws of physics through creative household management? Meet Thea Domestica, self-proclaimed Share House Maid, who's spent twenty-six years proving that successful parenting is mostly about surviving with your sense of humour intact.

Welcome to the Share House, where the Knight in Shining Armour raids fridges with supernatural stealth, Thumbelina delivers performances that could "shatter windows at fifty paces," and the Little Prince has evolved from projectile-food artist into a surprisingly thoughtful teenager. Together with Doris Dishwasher (temperamental but loyal) and the Royal Hound Rosie, we've transformed our former palace into a functioning family sanctuary.

Waterproof Mascara captures every magnificent, messy moment-from mysterious sock disappearances to wildlife encounters involving deceased brush turkeys as hallway decorations. Whether you're negotiating with teenagers who believe plates should be "rinsed in theory only" or having meaningful conversations with household appliances, you'll recognise yourself in every beautifully catastrophic page.

Warning: May cause inappropriate snorting sounds whilst reading in public. Waterproof mascara only goes so far.