The Child's Basic Needs!

Our belief in our children affects how they believe in themselves. When our kids feel like we're scared of everything they want to try, explore or experience, our fears secretly show that we don't believe in them. We need to trust our kids and give them the chance to struggle, learn and succeed. Our job is to teach them about right and wrong, but it's not up to us to decide who they should become. As parents, we should avoid controlling, manipulating, or taking our kids away from what naturally interests them. Their growth and development depend on our love and support. Each child is here to be their own unique person. They aren't here to be like us, or to be better than their siblings, friends, or the kids of our friends. When we compare our children, we're telling them they aren't as good as others. Our role as parents is to give feedback that helps build their character. If we criticize, shout, get angry or act in a passive-aggressive way, they can't grow. They might feel smaller or get really upset and start thinking badly about themselves, their abilities, and even about us. When we take away their pain and don't let them experience failure, we also take away their chance to be happy. Kids know from their own lives that words can hurt, and that teasing, name-calling, or bullying can affect how people feel. Kids want to be treated fairly, but they don't always know how to treat others the same way. One way to teach fairness is to explain the rules to your child and show that they apply to everyone. Deep down, we all want our kids to feel loved and valued no matter what challenges they face. It's not a lack of love that stops our kids from feeling appreciated. It's that as parents, we often have to work hard with little help, and we create many barriers that keep our love from reaching our kids. Show your child all your love and warmth. Be happy to be with them, no matter what they show you. One of the best ways to help a child feel respected is to let them know how much you enjoy spending time with them. Put your child first in your schedule and set aside some calm times together where you can really get to know who they are. Only then will you be able to explain why you care for, love and respect them so much. It can be tough to find joy in raising kids, especially with all the pressures we face. It can be hard to remember to stop and just enjoy being with our children.