Still Standing

"I was one of the good people. I followed the golden rules. I loved deeply. I sacrificed everything. And still, all I wanted was to be dead."

This is not a story of neat endings or polished triumphs. Still Standing is a memoir forged in the fire of trauma, told by a woman who gave everything to protect her children-and still couldn't stop the unthinkable.

At 65, she reflects on a life marked by heartbreak: the death of her nuclear family, the betrayal of a mentally ill husband who turned violent, and the aftermath that left her children shattered and forever changed. One night-one scream-one brave dog named Spot stopped a tragedy in motion. But the damage had already seeped into their bones. Her husband, gripped by delusions and diagnosed as a bipolar schizophrenic, would go on to die homeless, under a bridge. Her children, one gripped by guilt, the other trying to forget.

With brutal honesty and unwavering compassion, the author tells the story no one wants to tell: of trying to do everything right and still feeling like the ultimate failure. Of broken systems. Of doctors who said it was "safe." Of therapy that came too late. Of children who lost their innocence and a mother who lost her sense of self.

Yet in these pages, there is also fierce love. Endurance. A voice that refuses to be silenced. And the faint but persistent flicker of grace.

Still Standing is for every mother who has faced the impossible. Every survivor who has questioned their worth. And every reader brave enough to walk through the darkness-and keep going.
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