Number 44

Losing a parent is something no one is ever truly prepared for. At 24 years old, I lost my dad suddenly to a heart attack - a loss that changed everything in an instant.

But this isn't just a story about loss.

It's a story about a life lived loudly.

From growing up on Pauline Avenue in Beechview, to becoming a tough, fearless running back at Seton-LaSalle and Duquesne University, my dad, Jamie, lived with intensity, humor, and heart. He was the kind of man who never missed a game, who taught lessons without needing many words, and who could make an entire room laugh - sometimes for reasons you'd never expect.

Through childhood memories, sports, family struggles, and moments both funny and heartbreaking, this book captures what it truly means to love and lose someone who shaped your life. It explores the bond between a father and son, the impact of divorce, the quiet ways dads show up, and the memories that never fade - from late-night pizza and Redbox movies to eye contact across a football field that said everything without saying a word.

In the aftermath of loss, I reflect on grief, signs, unanswered questions, and the things left unsaid. But more importantly, I honor the legacy my dad left behind - not just in memories, but in who I have become.

Heartfelt, honest, and deeply personal, this is a story about holding on to the people we love... even after they're gone.