Impulsively Yours

Impulsively Yours is the fast paced, emotionally chaotic beginning of the story of Eva; a woman in her late 30s who is finally learning who she is. It is written to be the first of at least two books yet can still be read as a standalone book without a major cliff-hanger.

Eva's outlook on life, relationships and romance is both jaded and hopeful; being someone who falls in love easily, but walks away even more easily, someone who overthinks every single situation, yet somehow continues to make decisions that she herself would deem stupid and society would most likely judge her for. Eva lives her life in an incredibly straight forward yet at times paradoxical way; she has her own moral compass, which does not necessarily fit in with what society tells us is ok, and she doesn't have a strong belief in monogamous relationships, or that sex needs to coexist with love in order to be enjoyable.

The book follows Eva's life over the course of a couple of months and is a very open and honest account of her inner most thoughts as she experiences heartbreak, goes through issues in her work life and faces up to the effect that both her past trauma and her way of life has on her mental health. Eva is in equal parts demanding and understanding, incredibly put together in the eyes of others yet in her own mind feels broken by societal standards, and her biggest issue is her impulsivity which brings her what she terms her intervals of happiness, which is the only thing she thinks she is both capable of and entitled to. Eva is an incredibly free spirit sexually, and challenges how society still judges women for doing the same things that men get plaudits for, especially when that judgement comes from other women. She is intuitive and thrives on the her ability to read people, yet struggles with how she is so capable of seeing through the issues of other people whilst being completely blinded to her biases towards herself.

Eva eventually starts to consider that she might have ADHD, after a suggestion from a friend who takes her to meet a female colleague of hers who is a woman of a similar age that has herself been misdiagnosed with depression, anxiety and even bipolar disorder prior to getting the correct diagnosis of ADHD. Recognising herself in what this woman tells her about her own symptoms, and starting the journey of trying to get a diagnosis and starting to recognise which of her behaviours might be caused by her neurodivergence is where the book ends, and the second book will continue to follow her life as she struggles to get a diagnosis and come to terms with only realising something so significant about herself as her 40th birthday approaches.