Guys & Lies

I had no idea how to create an online dating profile. I thought I'd start with the easy bit, the photos. Which to use? I had to upload some current photos that were a true representation of myself. Ones that showed me at my very best, in a very good light. Wrinkles and jowls not so obvious, head thrown back, laughing and carefree. Honest, not misleading. Flattering. We all want to show our best angles. It took ages to select them as I was hyper-critical of how to present myself.

The first one was of me in shorts as my legs are still one of my best assets. There I am pictured on top of a mountain, proof that the joints were still working and thanks to a shot of ACV a day, arthritis is kept at bay. Not a bunion in sight.

Next, one of me cycling, hair flowing in the wind, the sun highlighting my blonde streaks, tanned skin glowing. No one would guess the glow was more due to the onset of a hot flush rather than healthy radiance. How about the one of me in my black Liz Hurley-style dress? Bits of flesh artfully revealed. Surely that would impress the potential admirers?

Finally, one of me frolicking at the water's edge at sunset, a glass of Prosecco in hand. A good all round selection I thought, showing someone who was still young at heart, with a fun spirit and oh so much to give to the right person. Carefree but caring. Four fabulous photos to kick start the process. All flattering, slightly at a distance, stomach in, cellulite conveniently draped in floaty fabric and not a bingo wing in sight.