F*CK DATA MESH

Welcome, brave soul, to a book about data, information and data warehousing. Yes, I know, exciting stuff. You might think this is going to be a thrilling ride through the wild and woolly world of spreadsheets and servers. Or perhaps you expect a riotous romp through the land of acronyms that sound like dodgy cocktails, ETL, BI, SaaS. And, in many ways, you'd be right. But more importantly, this book is your guide to navigating the Upside Down World of data, where truth is as slippery as a politician at a fringe festival and "quality" is often just code for "someone else's problem."

Now, before you abandon this tome for a nice walk or a lukewarm pint, let me assure you: this isn't your typical tech manual, promising to turn you into a data demigod by page 20. No, this is a love letter to the chaos, the nonsense, and the occasional brilliance of the data world, told with a nod, a wink, and a smirk that would make Peter Cook and Dudley Moore raise an eyebrow from beyond.

Inside, you'll find chapters with titles that sound like the rants of a disgruntled barista or the musings of someone who's had one too many meetings about 'data mesh' (whatever that is). We'll talk about "Data Omens," "Preparing Your Idiot Organisation for Degenerative AI," and why "Data Warehousing Stands in the Way of Progress?" Spoiler: it's complicated. It's like arguing with a Brexit campaigner who's just discovered blockchain and insists it'll fix everything.